Nocked and ready

You may be following my weight loss journey and wondering What is a Nocked life? What is “nocked”?? What does it mean? Let me explain.

Nocked (v) means to fit (an arrow) to the bow, ready for shooting.

This concept (mine) of living a nocked life equates to getting set up and ready to live your best life! And this is what I decided to do, 6 months ago.

I was overweight, unhealthy and frustrated that I could not just get it together. My big plan was to lose 30kg, in one year. I had tried this before, but I always ended up giving up after a few weeks or months. I would eventually go back to my old eating habits, slowly but surely start picking up weight again, not doing exercise regularly and getting back into old familiar (bad) habits. Then I would “suddenly” (not so sudden) have picked up all the weight I had lost.

I knew I needed to change something because I was over this same old vicious cycle that just ends up with me being frustrated, disappointed; feeling hopeless and bad about myself; and (the worst) that I don’t have the ‘willpower’ to lose weight. Aaah… you know it…The elusive willpower. The superpower of the thin and fabulous. Apparently.

There was also another situation that also helped me to focus and get my priorities straight. I had a relatively young family member diagnosed with aggressive cancer. The thought of having to go through multiple operations, the chemotherapy, spending months in hospital, in sickness and pain overwhelmed me. I started doing quite a lot of research on Alzheimers, dementia, cancer, autoimmune conditions (because I have a autoimmune antibodies and I have a family history of diabetes, thyroid and other diseases). I followed doctors Team Sherzai and Dr Susan Gottfried religiously on Instagram, buzzing off to my own (google) research. I really started to feel and believe that I needed to (finally) take my health seriously. I did not want to spend any time in a hospital. This has happened before, unfortunately. I had a stroke at age 32 and was paralysed on my left side. I spent 5 weeks in hospital (in bed) and I had to learn how to stand and walk again. I had to use a wheelchair and a walker. That experience was horrific and I still struggle with thoughts of it and the fear of it happening again.

Ofcourse, I am not in control of these things; but I made up my mind that I would do as much as I possibly could to look after my health and make sure that I am doing as much as I can to prevent these serious illnesses or scenarios. Which meant, according to the research, making a permanent change to my diet and lifestyle.

So, I set my goal and my plan of action (blog, instagram page, personal trainer, grocery lists, food diary) to a better, healthier, happier, fitter, life. I was scared of failing again, so I really tried to get everything in place so that failure was virtually impossible. It has been tough. It has been emotionally and mentally draining. I have experienced food grief (yes, its a thing. Really). The first 90 days were the worst. I kept telling myself I just need to get to 28 days to build a habit and then 90 days to make that habit a lifestyle. Slowly but surely I got there and today I am on day 177 and 20.4kg down.

As I reflect on the last 6 months, I feel grateful for some motivation I got along the way which really helped at the crucial times. My first boost was the well wishes I got from celeb Zuraida Jardine, who inspires me on Instagram with her dedication to being fit and healthy. I was pumped and did really well, lost 5kg in the first month.  But as I entered the next month, I could feel the tug of familiarity pulling at me. I started struggling mentally. I just wanted to eat things I was used to. I was tired of green everything and I was getting angry. At food. It was starting to get tough, and it would have been easy to just give us; but it happened to be the week I signed up for a health and wellness event hosted by Aesthetics 11 at the Waterfront.

I went to the event with my sister and I got to meet (2 seconds, starstruck me) Rushtush. Attendees got to do a class with her for free.  I had been following Rushtush for a while (I used to watch her train on Instagram and it was so inspiring; albeit me eating a chocolate, watching her train) and just seeing her in the flesh made me feel like I can also be a fit girl (again). When I did the class I felt so good. I had been training regularly with my trainer and I could actually keep up (!!) and it was an intense workout. That event really put me in a good headspace at just the right time and I held it together and just kept moving forward.

As the weeks went by, it got less tough (I don’t want to say easier, because it wasn’t easy. Not in those first 3 months). But things finally started falling into place, slowly. My choices were becoming easier to make, more familiar. I got to 10kg and that was a boost; then reached a 15 kg weight loss at the start of 2019, which was a great start to the year. It was starting to feel, finally, that I really could do it.  Reaching each milestone kept me going. There was no way I was stopping.

Twenty whole kilograms off, and I feel so much lighter, I have more energy. I actually feel like I take up less space. I can’t explain it, but I am still getting used to my new size in the world haha. Most of my clothes and underwear don’t fit me anymore and I feel quite proud of myself (and still a bit surprised) at how far I have come. For me, losing weight is not about body shaming, but its about about my my health and fitness, feeling good, content, being strong and living my best life. Nocked!

 

 

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Siham Arieff
Siham Arieff

Siham is a wellness writer, stroke survivor, mom of 3 and coffee lover on a health and fitness journey who recently relocated back home to Cape Town, South Africa.

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